Books 4, 5, & 6

http://www.greek-gods.info/greek-gods/aphrodite/images/aphrodite-aeneas-nenci.jpg

This is the part of the war where us gods stupidly fight with each other. The big Z said that Menelaus won the battle and the war, but Hera totally disagrees and said that the war should continue until Troy is destroyed.  She made Zeus then send for Athena to start up the war again and like Athena does this by disguising herself as a Trojan warrior (eww she's dressed as a man) and convinced this dude Pandarus, an archer, to shoot at Menelaus. Pandarus shot right at Menee, but Athena used her powers to make the arrow move and only hurt Menelaus a little. This, as 'genius' Athena knew would happen, angered the Greeks. Agamemnon gathered the soldiers back onto the battlefield and Odysseus and Aias killed so many Trojans that it really sucked for a while. This is when we, the magnificent gods, got to help in the war. While Athena took the Greeks, Apollo and I helped the Trojans.
During the fighting, Pandarus wounded Diomedes which greatly upset Diomedes, who then prayed to Athena for revenge. Athena said yes and gave Diomedes superhuman powers, like the ability to see the gods on the battlefield. She totally warned him not to challenge any of the gods but me....because I am a nice god and I'm helping the Trojans. Well, he agrees and goes on a killing spree, killing Pandarus and then wounding Aeneas, my son! Well, one of my sons. But because he IS one of my kids, I went in between them to stop them and then I felt a sharp pain in my wrist. The damn Greek had cut me and blood was falling down my arm and staining my beautifuly hand-made robes! I dropped my kid and clutched at my arm, but before Diomedes could drive the blade through me or my son, Apollo took him up away from battlefield. I was in so much pain and when I finally got to Olympus I called my mom ( Dione) cause it hurt so much and I though I was gonna die but she healed my poor arm. She was the only one who cared about me because Zeus told me I was not good enough for war and I deserved to get hurt.  That jerk...
Anyway, while Apollo took care of my son, that stupid Diomedes stabbed him (Apollo that is). Having seen this, Athena was super upset because Diomedes was told to only attack me so Apollo warned Diomedes to stay away from the gods before taking Aeneas off the field, leaving a like shadow of my kid behind to trick Diomedes.
Apollo called then to Ares, the god of war, because he was busy and needed someone to help fight with the Trojans. Finally the Trojans are ahead in the war and the gods on the field kept scaring the little Greeks. Of course Hera and Athena were allowed by the big Z to go back on the field and help the Achaeans while I sat in the corner being bored.  Athena got Diomedes to hurt Ares, who then went back to Olympus where he tattle-tales to Zeus about his injury. Zeus then says Ares deserved the injury, but  I believe it was unfair because the goddesses were helping so Ares basically got hurt by a god.
Finally after all the gods left the battlefield, the Greeks defeat the Trojans the Trojans go back towards the city to safety, and Nestor tells the Greeks to keep fighting because the Trojans are weakening.  Menelaus then captured Adrestus-some minor dude-and threatened to kill him, but Agamemnon told Menne to just kill the dude to show their power over the Trojans. The Trojans knew they would not win because their power had gone away a longtime ago in the war. Hector is then told to like go to Troy by the seer Helenus and he does this and cries to his mommy to pray for mercy to Athena.  And then to top if off he scares his own kid when he goes home to his poor lonely wife!
"He stretched his arms towards his child, but the boy cried and nestled in his nurse's bosom, scared at the sight of his father's armour, and at the horse-hair plume that nodded fiercely from his helmet. His father and mother laughed to see him, but Hector took the helmet from his head and laid it all gleaming upon the ground. Then he took his darling child, kissed him, and dandled him in his arms, praying over him the while to Jove and to all the gods."
From "The Iliad of Homer" book from like class.

Books 2 & 3

Hello mortals.  I am here again after a long and stressful week because I have the most roughest like ever but I have more of the story.  So we ended with the big Z helping the Trojans I think. Well what happened next is rather smart of Zeus. The big Z decided to send a dream to Agamemnon to boost his mood in winning the war. But Agamemnon saw this as a way to like fool his soldiers into fighting better so he totally decided to raise their moral by tricking them; he told the groups that he had a dream that told him to just give up on the war. He thought this would make his soldiers wanting to like fight more, but instead they turned tail and ran away. After all, I would do the same if I had a chance at living out the rest of my life rather than dying on a smelly battle field.  Well I guess Hera saw the men running away and knew she had to do something so she called Athena and told her to take the news to Odysseus. When Odysseus heard of what happened, he gathered all the men and reminded them what the strange seer guy had said. "Nine years for the Achaeans to take Troy."  When the men finally cooled off and were ready to fight, Nestor and Agamemnon set the lines of the battlefield. They believed the men would be more willing to fight and die if they were put by their family and friends, like when you get to sit by your BFF at lunch.  During this time, the Trojans gathered together under Hector and then marched to meet the Acheans, where Paris-who totally started the war by stealing Helen from Menelaus-challenged the Greeks to a duel. Menelaus stepped forward, which scared Paris a lot. After Hector made fun of Paris for being a chicken, Paris gathered all his strength and decided to fight. It is decided that whoever won the battle would like win the war and take Helen as his own and then we could just all go home. When the two men were fighting, the goddess Iris disguised herself as Paris's (rather ugly in my opinion) sister and went to see Helen. She made Helen watch the fight between the two men which was rather disappointing. After Menelaus totally broke his sword over Paris' helmet, he then decided to drag the poor man through the dirt by his helmet. This made me feel sick and I was so ticked off that I broke Paris' helmet strap so that he would not be anymore strangled more than he was before. I then decided to save Paris cause lets face it, I'm a sucker for Trojans.  I brought Paris to the Palace where Helen was waiting for him and I left them alone cause I could totally see they wanted some sexy time.
As all the men searched for Paris, Agamemnon demanded that Menelaus won the duel and totally deserved Helen back.
Well I get bored easily and totally don't know what is going on sometimes because it's just so lame, but I found this site that totally helped me! It was way better than those stupid short story sites cause those are just stupid, but I found this amazing one all about me!
Stewart, Michael. &quot;Aphrodite&quot;, <i>Greek Mythology: From the Iliad to the Fall of the Last Tyrant</i>. <a href="http://messagenetcommresearch.com/myths/bios/aphrodite.html">http://messagenetcommresearch.com/myths/bios/aphrodite.html</a> (November 14, 2005) (Accessed October 2014)

Book 1

So I guess I have to talk about the Iliad though I'd rather just talk about me, cause I am way more important than some silly Greeks.  Well it starts nine years into the war between the Greeks (Achean) and the Trojans.  The war started because Paris, a Trojan prince, decided to like steal the hot babe Helen. Helen was the wife of Menelaous, a Greek who was like the King of Sparta or something. So nine years after this this all happened, the so-called epic starts with a poet asking a muse to tell the story of the war and the "greatest Greek hero", Achilles. The Acheans start by attacking like an allied town of the Trojans.  While there, I guess they captured two women by the names of Chrseis and Briseis-lame names, I know. Agamemnon, a supposedly great Greek commander, took Chryseis as his own concubine thingy while Achilles took Briseis. Now I thought Briseis was a pretty hot girl so I understand totally why Achilles took her.  Well then this greatly upset the Trojans and like ginormous ransom, Agamemnon said no which was a dumb move on his part in my opinion.  Chryses loved his daughter a ton so he prayed to Apollo, I think, to send a nasty plague on the Greeks.  After ten days, Achilles finally sent for a seer (soothsayer even though that word sounds totally made up) to tell them why they were like suffering.  Calchas the came up and told the Greeks that the plague was sent on them as revenge by Apollo and the Trojans.  Well of course pissed off Agamemnon and he told Chryses that he would return his daughter Chryseis only if Achilles would give him Briseis.
Well I would be upset if I was Achilles and of course he was, so in his angery mood over the women, he threatened to take his troops back home and not help the Achaians with the war. Agamemnon argued back that if Achilles did not give him Briseis, he will go steal her from Achilles' tent, which is totally rude. After the queen of the gods, Hera, sent Athena, goddess of war, to calm the men down, Agamemnon sents Chryseis home to her farther.  Confusing right? Well it gets better.  Having done this he then claimed Briseis for his own, which is like breaking the bro-code. After Achilles realized this, he prayed to his mother Thetis, a sea nymph, to ask Zeus, the king of the gods and who I like to call the big Z cause he is like so important, to punish the Greeks. Thetis promised to pray to the big Z after he returned from some fance a-class feast with the Aethiopians.
This is when Odysseus entered the story by accompanying Chryseis on the ship back to her home.  And may I remind you that Odysseus has his own story but of course he has to be a big shot and be in two epics...anywho, after Chryseis was reunited with her father, Odysseus prayed and made a few sacrifices (ewww) to Apollo.  Thisa pleased Chryses so much that he decided to pray to Apollo to stop the plague. Though this had really helped the Greeks, Achilles was still not gonna help them because of his ex-friend Aggie. He and his troops refused to help the Greeks and were waiting for some weird sign from Zeus. When the big Z finally returned from feasting, he listened to Thetis' story and decided to basically grant Achilles' wish. But like even though the big Z is a neutral god, his wife Hera is a huge fan of the Greeks, so he basically only helps the Trojans cause he doesn't want to get his lady mad. When I heard of this I was like very confused, but then I understood because the Trojans were then ahead in the war, and this would make the Greeks beg for Achilles to help them.  Seems a little backward to me but I am not like the god of wisdom, so I totally don't need to be bothered with the war.  Anyway, this caused a conflict with Hera and she demanded a war between the gods. She got totally mad and was acting like it was her time of the month, but her son Hepaestus cooled her down enough to not start a fight.

http://thetrojantumult.weebly.com/geography.html

Intro

Hello dear mortals. Throughout this long endeavor, I guess I will be posting to this website my views on the world and life that is going on here during the idiotic Trojan War. My name is Aphrodite, if you already didn't like know that. I am the goddess of love, beauty, and sexual rapture so therefore I am amazing. I was born when my father, Uranus (funny name right??) was castrated by his son Cronus. My brother then threw my father's genitals into the ocean. The waters bubbled and thrashed and I was like born from the sea foam. However, Homer claims that I am the daughter of Zeus and Dione and because Zeus is the father of all, he married me off to Hephaestus, the lame-o smith god. My husband was so psyched that he made me the most amazingly awesome jewels in all the worlds. This also attracted so many men to me even though most of them like already loved me. I have totally loved many gods, even mortals though they are way below me. This led to like the births of my children; Eros, Atheros, Hymenaias, and Aeneas.  I know the names sound sooo weird but this is the ancient times man.  Since I have already told you so much about me, I shall attach a photo. But like try not to lick the screen.
The Love Goddess,
Aphrodite

http://www.theoi.com/Gallery/F10.1.html